Boundaries and self love go together. Emotional processing is likened to intestinal function of nutrient-waste separation. The gut or yellow chakra, ruled by war planet mars and fire planet sun, belies this energies power. Empaths, people who feel others’ feelings, tend to harness this power to support or save others in order to feel safe.
Processing the self inquiry: “Is the Relationship Worth the Effort?” makes me get real about what makes a relationship or situation worthy of my effort. When we say “no” to taking responsibility for Mama’s unmet maternal needs and resulting shame, blame and guilt about it to manipulate us into being parentified, is when healthy boundary building begins.
Breathe. You have the power to distinguish where you end and they begin; the difference between “your stuff” and “others’ stuff”; and, what is okay and is not okay with and for you. Thoughts, attitudes and feelings that are not your own do not determine yours, unless you give them that power. To define, establish and maintain healthy boundaries, a line in the sand needs to be drawn to see how shame, blame and guilt is being projected onto us, and its affects.
Observe without absorbing what works and make necessary adjustments by closely examining what you can and cannot tolerate.
Allow yourself time and space to process this. This informs what boundaries are needed, which ones need to change, what, is and is not your fight. Committing to your boundaries teaches others how to treat you.
Whether emotional, physical or legal, get clear about your intention for separation and what kind you need, temporary or permanent? Will they function for you to heal, diffuse triggers, or go no contact? Use your empathic powers and skillfully, tap into your true needs noticing how they are ignored, by whom, including you, and why.
My evolving default is to allow my divinity to dictate my response to getting MDT wiped on me--- but birth mother attachment still often have me in limbo. What is a goddess to do? What do you do when you are in this situation, just hope is passes (as if), or create boundaries to keep out what you do not want to let in what you do?
PROCESSING SUIT CARD for P in A.S.P.I.R.E. of the 49 card Mama Drama Trauma Healing Oracle Deck We aspire to live in loving detachment from shame, blame and guilt.
Mama Drama Trauma (MDT) Academy supports the daily practice of release. Post a question for a reading.
PROCESSING Suit